"I am writing regarding the review of manuscript# AJSLP-08-0001, 'The Influence of Morphological Awareness on the Literacy Development of First-Grade Children' submitted to American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology. Two expert reviewers, the Associate Editor Dr. Laura Green, and I have reviewed your manuscript. All agree that it is worthy work. I would like to invite you to revise this work based on suggestions outlined in the remainder of this letter; I hope that with your careful attention to these matters, this work might be accepted for publication in AJSLP."
I am really excited about the possibility of my thesis research showing up in a journal in the near future. It looks like it might happen! So, wah hoo!
Pondering on the subject of research and the silliness that it can sometimes be, I remembered this forward that my friend Bob posted on our class blog when we were in school. It makes me laugh.
COMMON RESEARCH TERMS DEFINED
"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.
"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.
"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...
The other results didn't make any sense.
"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
This is the prettiest graph.
"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
Once
"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
Twice
"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
Thrice
"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
I think.
"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...
A couple of others think so, too.
"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"...
Wrong.
"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"...
Rumor has it.
"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"...
A wild guess.
"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"...
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of soda.
"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"...
I don't understand it.
"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"...
They don't understand it either.
"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"...
Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"...
A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"...
I quit.
5 comments:
Funny!
I'm going to start looking at my assigned readings in a whole new light now.
Congrats on the possible thesis publication!
Way to be! I hope you get published so that I can have a famous friend.
PS. I wouldn't include the list of defined research terms with your publication if I were you :-)
Congrats! That's incredible. You always were the smartest smarty-pants around. :)
How exciting is that! You could be published! It really doesn't surprise me, you're a freakin' genius and always have been! Congrats!
Being microbiologist, my husband and I LOVED the terminology. Your posts are always quite fun to read. Have a good time with your house guests!
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